JMFK (MF = My Friend)

Insomnia III      So what of all this, is it just ramblings from someone that can't quiet his mind. Is it crazy babbling from a guy whose indigestion, from eating to much cheesy bread, is making him restless.      Perhaps its a sort of therapy for something that can't be explained away or forgotten. In the sharing of things that keep us up at night, maybe some of the burden is lifted.      So what can this vague story really mean. Maybe its about the consequences of actions, and how many people your choices can impact. It could be about the cycle of abuse and how we need to break it before it kills us and innocents caught in the crossfire become collateral damage.      Might even be a story about fake news, and pushing an agendas to make people feel safe and have confidence in those entrusted with their safety. Could be a story about a conspiracy to hide the truth in murky waters and the heaping of undeserved acclaim on supposed heroes that let his happen when they i

Insomnia II      So now as I write on what should be used for my dream pad, I am still left to wonder why. Then I remember what the voices of the children said. They said she hadn't slept for days. I remember her voice said she needed to leave them with someone there so they would be safe. I remember I was told she wanted to harm herself, and not anyone else. I recollect of hearing about her husband abusing her. Still even now, confused about what I heard and from who, and I'm not sure whats real.      In the midst of thinking of a tragedy averted, all those years ago, I am still left wondering now of the truth of it all. I can't sleep because my mind is racing, triggering raw emotion, and in the end there will still be no answer.      Right after it happened there was secrecy and innuendo, the spin zone was in full effect. Even I spun something in my mind to stay sane, and make everything all right. Had to keep going, pushing forward, moving on up,on to th

Sometimes you forget things from your past and how much they affected you. Then one night you can't sleep because that memory lingers and plays in your mind. So here is the first of three post about an incident in my past. Its personal reflections that are told in an intentionally vague way to keep me out of trouble on the Internet. Some will know details of the story from private conversations, but no one has probably heard me express the impact it has had on me. So here is part one.      INSOMNIA I       It was an ordinary day. I thought I was finished, another job well done, lets hit the showers, drinks on me. Then out of nowhere it almost hit me, she almost hit me, literally. Seconds moved at the speed of light. Thoughts were had, decisions made, blink of an eye and it was over. I could have died, she could have killed, she could have died, I could have killed. She could have killed the bystanders around me, I could have killed the innocents with her. Something

So I was thinking about some things and people in my life, and how I am perceived and perceive myself. I spend a lot of time alone so it gives me a chance to reflect on who I am, and who people think I am. The longer I live the more I see just how easy it is to only think of myself and my own desires. Perhaps much of my life has been lived doing just that. So when people think or maybe I start to think that I'm a great person, I have to take a step back and reflect. In my reflection this prose of sorts came into my mind.          You should be glad that its not ME. You see ME is very concerned about growing his finances, and they don't grow when you give money away. If it were up to ME then anyone that asked for money would be laughed at and mocked for thinking I would work hard so they could get it for nothing. ME would never give money to people anyway since they probably won't even appreciate it.       You should be thankful that its not ME. You see ME is concerned

So I have been hearing that this is a bad time to be a man. Accusations against men are ruining our lives and reputations. At no time in american history has it been so hard to be a man. I hear things like this and it makes me wonder what people know of history. So I wanted to share a brief summary of a few moments in our history, to hopefully give people a little perspective.                                                         January 1923 Rosewood, FL      People from the neighboring town of Sumner as well as others who came from the region, came to Rosewood to help local law enforcement. They were drawn to the area to help with the hunt for a man that was accused of assualting a woman in Sumner. The local police tried to maintain order, but in the end surrendered to mob justice. Events spiraled out of control and the town was razed.                                                         May 1921 Tulsa, OK      A local shoeshiner was accused of assaulting an elevator

When I was a child it was not uncommon for me and my brothers to jump the fence over to the neighbors or vice versa, so we could all play together. As kids it was actually fun to jump fences instead of walking around or using a gate. Later in life I lived beside my aunt and uncle, and I might jump the fence, or use the gate, in the back yard to play with the dog next door. Love you and miss you April!      So you can put fences up, and they can also be up when you get there. They serve a purpose to keep some things out and sometimes to keep things in. Yet when you are welcome its just a barrier to climb over or a gate to go through. That is of course if you are welcome. Those not welcome are trespassing when they go past that barrier.      Now in my life I have been invited to jump the fence over to other yards many times. Some people even open the gate for me. For many it is a unique experience to have me in their yard. Before your mind only heads down that one road, I am a uniq

My grandfather died when I was six years old, so I didn't get to know him for very long. He has lived on with the life lessons he taught my mother. She recently shared one of them with me. She told me something he shared with her when she was growing up. He told her that her and her sisters were all pretty girls and smart as well. Men/boys would be after them, but they shouldn't just put up with or accept one that didn't treat them right.      So with that said I want to briefly talk about something that I think is important, especially for women, and that is self-esteem. I have been close to many women throughout my life, whether as friends, family, or relationships, and something I have come to recognize is that I have known way too many that have low self-esteem.      First off let me share something I heard a comedian say, self-esteem is how you feel about yourself, other people really can't change that unless you let them. To all the women out there, please know

So someone asked had they offended me, which is not unusual, but my response to them could be taken as such. You see these days when people ask that, I tell them I am so far past offended. What does that mean though? Did I, or didn't I offend you? Well here is the plain truth about offending me: -When you talk of being a person of love, but you constantly speak of hate, I am offended by you misrepresenting yourself as a spiritual person. -When you are willing to speak about and post far left and far right conspiracies, I am offended when I show you they are not factual and the best you can do is say sorry for offending me, no retraction no admitting publicly you were wrong. Its not me you need to apologize too, but the people you mislead. -When people speak of killing the president, or wishing death upon him. I am offended because if you know my past then you know I am proud of my brothers and sisters who put their lives on the line daily for whoever sits in the oval offic

In these blog post and in my daily conversations I try to encourage people as well as spread and take in knowledge. Sometimes I think people feel that I am not genuine or that I am talking down to people when that is the furthest thing from the truth. When I talk about being hypocritical or prejudice, I am talking about all people including myself. I have and am continuing to work on making myself better and only want to encourage people to do the same.      So today I thought I would share something, so that hopefully others can learn from my mistakes and not make them.       Years ago I started working with someone who I only knew by reputation. It was a good reputation as everyone always talked about how smart this person was and so kindhearted, a good christian man. So when I started working with this person I decided that I was not impressed. I decided everybody was hyping this guy up and he was no better than me, who never gets hyped up by people. My PRIDE in myself couldn

So I was thinking about something I watched on TV more than a decade ago. I was watching this telethon raising money for victims of hurricane Katrina. Mike Myers was encouraging people to donate, and beside him was Kanye West supposedly doing the same. I say supposedly for Kanye because instead of sticking to the plan he decided to suddenly say "Bush doesn't like black people" stunning everyone including me and Mike Myers. Mr. Myers tried to keep it together, but that first look he gave Kanye was priceless. Kanye proceeded to go off on a tangent talking about his accountant or something, and finally they cut to someone else not on stage. That person wasn't prepared nor was the telethon prepared. We the audience were not prepared at the time.       Sometime later Mr. West is in the spotlight for interrupting Taylor Swift at an awards show to say Beyonce should have won. He showed a lack of class and respect for someone having their moment, and again many weren&#

So me and my family used to watch Siskel and Ebert when I was a kid, and always liked to hear what each person thought about a movie they watched. Sometimes they saw things completely different, and its amazing how people can see things so differently. I must also add in that me and my brothers also used to get a kick out of Mystery Science Theater. Those robots would have me rolling, and those movies they watched were so bad I couldn't believe they sometimes had legit stars in them.      Any-who, I just thought I would share some thoughts I have and some that I have heard on a few movies. Lets start with an odd childhood favorite of mine. DUNE So when I was a child in the eighties this movie was just so weird in a scifi way that I have always loved it. I had not read the books back then so I had no idea what it was all about. I have since read many books in the series and have seen the SYFY channel mini series, which are much better, still I love this movie. The acting is a

So its been a while since I posted anything, but this week I had a conversation that got me to thinking. Thinking about my past and present, and how in some ways its more of the same. Let me first say that this is my opinion based on my personal observations. I will be referring to things that have happened to me or I observed happening in others, and may not be necessarily happening currently.      You see I have been "unique" among those I have worked with and lived around for a lot of my life. This uniqueness extends beyond race to lifestyle choices, religion, social life, but racial difference is usually an easily identifiable thing. Its no secret that where I live and work, the minority population is very small. On its face that doesn't have to mean anything since we are all just people, but we all know the truth that we haven't quite reached that point as a society. Hopefully we will though!      So lets get to the story. A person was telling me about the h

So I am anticipating that my photo has probably got a few peoples attention, and I hope you will stay and read this post. You see I have tried to keep this blog from being about politics. It is mean't to be about things I have seen and observed on my walk through this life. This will touch a topic of great political discourse these days, but I assure you it is still my observations and not some political statement for or against something. As usual I am always just trying to get people to use their minds and not be enslaved. that being said here are some my observations.      America is still the greatest country on earth. We have our problems and issues, but it is still founded on great principles and gives more opportunity and safety than most places. I'm sure events such as what happened in Florida recently and things you hear about happening in big cities might make you think otherwise. I challenge you to actually look at crime, economic, and social statistics in you

I was just thinking about my childhood, and something that was a big part of my life this time of year, playing basketball in the Hobby Shop League. The Hobby shop is church sponsored organization in Nashville. They have a couple of facilities where kids can do activities, learn, and they have a big gift giveaway every Christmas for underprivileged kids. They also sponsor a basketball league that not only teaches kids about basketball, but has devotionals every practice and tries to put some Jesus in their lives.      So as I was saying I was thinking about my position back then. I played probably five seasons between the age of  10-17. Some were seasons where I was the worst person on the best team that didn't lose a game, and some years I was the best person on the worst team that lost every game. I tell you what, I learned a lot about life and teamwork playing in that league and it will stick with me forever.      Now when I was about 11 or 12, I was tall for my age, so I

Definitions (Websters): Prejudice - (1) :preconceived judgment or opinion (2) :an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prejudice#h1 Racism - (1) :a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race (2) :racial prejudice or discrimination https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/racism **I hope you have taken time to read the definitions. Do not read any further if you have not read them at least twice and given yourself a few moments to reflect. You can also follow the links to get the full definitions, usage, and backgrounds of each word. Good now let me first say that I am writing this because I think we get so caught up in wanting to be for our side and against some other side that we haphazardly throw out terms.We even try to equate and make things fit into t

I recently started back practicing yoga on a more consistent basis. Really I needed to as my body demanded it. Every so often I start to stiffen up, especially my lower back when my sciatic nerve starts acting up. Funny enough it seems to happen more often in the winter time. Of course that could be in my mind. I think I might start tracking my body closer. Next year I’m going to keep like a monthly chart of my body and how it has felt, and where it’s had aches and pains.      Anyway I have been doing yoga for near twenty years now. Before you start to think that’s what I’m all about and I think it’s the greatest thing ever, and if you’re not doing it you’re missing out. Wrong! I enjoy it and find benefit in it for myself, and that’s just it. This morning as I was doing a routine I gave greater thought to flexibility. I thought of more than the physical aspect of it, and I wanted to share those thoughts.      I have noticed that I am more flexible than a lot of people I know. I